When Home Feels Like the Only Answer
John wakes up at 5 a.m. every morning, not because he wants to, but because Sarah, his wife of 47 years, is already stirring. Some days she thinks it's time to make breakfast for their kids—who are now grown with families of their own. Other days, she's confused about where she is, though they've lived in this Dover home for four decades.
She might not remember their mailing address anymore, but she still knows it feels like "home." And John is determined to keep her there.
But at 73, John is exhausted. His own health is suffering. The phone calls never seem to end—rescheduling his own doctor's appointments, apologizing to friends for missing another dinner, calling Sarah's doctors about her increasing confusion, negotiating with his part-time job about reduced hours. The thought of adding "research home care options" to his list feels overwhelming, especially after seeing the costs.
John isn't alone. Recent data from the Genworth Cost of Care Survey shows that in-home care in Delaware averages $5,339 monthly for just 44 hours of weekly care. At $24-38 per hour, bringing in professional help—even for basic needs like meal preparation, hygiene assistance, or simply having someone watch over Sarah while John runs errands—feels financially out of reach.
"I promised myself I would take care of her," John often says, "but I never imagined it would be like this."
What John and many other families don't realize is that there's another critical phone call they should make: to an elder law firm. Why? Because contrary to common belief, there are ways to afford the care your loved one needs while protecting your life savings.
For most Delaware families, including those like John and Sarah, the Medicaid Long Term Care Program, specifically its Home and Community Based Waiver (HCBW), can be life-changing. Here's what it could mean for a family like John and Sarah's:
- Up to 72 hours weekly of in-home care, allowing John to rest, attend to his own health needs, and maintain some semblance of his own life
- The option to have a family member or trusted friend serve as the primary, or one of many, paid caregivers
- Up to two weeks of respite care annually, with the option to receive this respite in the home, giving primary caregivers like John a crucial break
- Optional adult day services where Sarah could socialize safely while John takes care of other responsibilities
- Home modifications to make their house safer as Sarah's needs change
- Home-delivered meals, removing the daily stress of cooking
- Medical alert systems for peace of mind
- Coverage for some necessary medical equipment and supplies
- A dedicated case manager to help coordinate all these services
Most importantly, with proper legal guidance, families can protect their savings while qualifying for these benefits. This isn't about gaming the system, it's about following established federal and state laws to access available resources legally and ethically.
Remember John? After meeting with an elder law firm, he learned how to access these benefits for Sarah. Now, instead of exhausting himself trying to do everything alone, he has help 40 hours a week. He's back to his morning coffee group twice a week. With caregivers keeping Sarah engaged in activities during the day and maintaining a consistent routine, they're both finally getting restful sleep at night. Their adult children no longer worry about both parents' health declining simultaneously.
Sarah still has moments of confusion, but she's comfortable in familiar surroundings, with John able to truly be her husband again instead of just her caregiver.
If you see yourself or someone you love in this story, whether you're just starting to notice concerning changes or you're already feeling overwhelmed, don't wait to make that call to an elder law firm. You don't have to choose between quality care and financial stability. You don't have to shoulder this burden alone.
The sooner you reach out, the more options you'll have to protect both your loved one and your family's financial future. We can help you navigate this journey, dispel the myths about Medicaid eligibility, and find a way to keep your loved one at home, where the memories might be fading, but the feeling of "home" remains strong.
Contact us today to learn how we can help your family access these benefits while protecting your savings. Your loved one can stay home, and you can get the support you need to make that possible.
Procino-Wells & Woodland, LLC is a Delaware estate planning and elder law firm with offices in Lewes and Seaford, serving families throughout Delaware. Our experienced attorneys focus exclusively on estate planning, elder law, and estate and trust administration, including Wills, Powers of Attorney, Trusts, Medicaid planning, VA Aid & Attendance benefits, special needs planning, and asset protection from long-term care costs. With 46 combined years of experience and VA accreditation, our all-women team helps Delaware families plan for their future, protect their assets, and navigate complex elder law matters. Contact us at www.pwwlaw.com to schedule an educational consultation. Consider our virtual meetings to accommodate your schedule or save your drive time.